“7. Coupons, rewards, gift certificates, sales, and other discounts, do not impact my service.”

This one is a big one. People really seem to have a hard time with this. So let me clarify.

Gratuity is based on the pre-tax, pre-discount bill.

These days, it seems everyone is looking to save big. They’re looking high and low for a deal, a bargain, a great buy, etcetera. In today’s economy, we all want to save money. Thanks to places like Groupon, Restaurants.com, and the myriad of reward programs out there trying to clutter our wallets and purses with reward cards, it’s easy to find ways to lower your bill every time you dine out.

This is a good thing. Because it means an increase in people trying new places, and often that leads to, as I heard it at work once, “butts in seats on a Monday night.” I’m all for getting a good value, and I encourage people to look for ways to save money. For the establishments that offer such incentives, the short term revenue loss is far more than offset by the long term revenue gain.

However, people seem clueless to the fact that all these savings come from the business, not the server. The discounts are on the goods, not the services. When you bring in a 25% off coupon, you’ll pay for 75% of everything that is included in the price of the food. However, your server will still provide 100% of the service of a normal meal. So your tip should reflect that.

Sometimes, this will even include special promotions or club perks that may not be reflected on the bill. For example, if the server brought you the free birthday dessert, you won’t see that on the bill. However, the server still gave 100% of the effort to bring you that free sundae for your special day. So take that into account when you’re calculating your gratitude.

In the end, it’s really simple. If the restaurant charged you only $50 for a $100 meal, your server still gave you $100 worth of service. Give them $100 worth of your thanks and you’ll be sure to experience that same level of service again and again. Enjoy!

“6. The alternative to gratuity is restaurants who pay those who serve a livable wage.”

There are a number of food service business models where tipping is not expected. There isn’t a single means to acquire ready-to-eat food that doesn’t require some sort of guest/employee interaction, outside of perhaps vending machines and self-checkout lanes at the grocery store. Whether it’s a fast food cashier, a convenience store clerk, a delivery driver, and so on, there are many ways you can get prepared food handed to you, and you are either not required to tip, or the tip is not the “server’s” primary wage. These roles are incentivized in other ways than gratuity to encourage these servers to care about their customers or guests. Generally, the impact of these servers is minimal compared to the experiences enjoyed in the environment of a sit-down restaurant or other eatery.

There is a bigger picture at play when discussing these alternate models in regards to how the servers impact the success of the business and how the business provides for the servers. Rather than each server’s individual success with the guests, the overall experience at the establishment is what takes money from the guests’ wallets to pay the servers. Recently, the request for gratuity has begun to pop up in businesses not traditionally known for expecting it, as advocates of good manners have encouraged tipping all who serve the public. Starbucks baristas, for example, have become more reliant on this “bonus”, when it’s available, yet it is still a bonus above and beyond their primary wages. Overall, these and many other types of service do not look directly to you, as the guest/customer, to pay their wages.

In the traditional roles of waiter/waitress, and to a lesser degree, bartender, gratuity is the main source of income. The practice of tipping can be traced back to Tudor England of the 1700s, and gratuity in some form back to at least the 1500s. Tipping became prevalent in the US around the time of Prohibition. In modern times, thousands of restaurants rely on this business model every day. These businesses rely on gratuity to remove the cost of server wages from the prices on the menu. Whether you’re getting a $2 breakfast at Denny’s, or a $40 steak at Morton’s, you pay less than you would if those restaurants could not rely on your gratuity to pay your server.

In many parts of Europe, a different model is in play. In some countries, expected gratuity is considerably less, or even discouraged. At the fanciest restaurants, servers are rockstars, paid well for their skill and attention to detail, and those costs are passed on to the patrons. Here, the server is highly regarded, and their skill and attention to detail are considered as critical to the success of the establishment as the chef’s. Some restaurants in America and experimenting with this model, as I pointed out in this earlier post. Having spoken to a few Europeans from Germany, the UK, and Sweden on this subject, I’ve learned that this alternative to tipping can often have the opposite desired effect. The lack of incentive can lead to poor service and poor server attitudes.

I was raised to be a passionate giver. I’m wired to thrive on the joy of giving. I know I would do well in an environment where gratuity was taken out of the equation, because my guests’ satisfaction, and a livable wage, would be sufficient to keep me doing my best, without fear that other staff could negatively impact my income. I’m also well aware of the fact that not enough people feel as I do. With all the other reasons in play that lead people to the service profession, the ROI between server labor and guest gratuity is critical to ensuring a quality experience for all involved. Just as the servers who rely on tips are responsible for earning a fair gratuity, guests/customers are responsible for paying in kind. So long as this business model exists, the expectations and responsiblities are clear. It only works for everyone involved if everyone does their part. Enjoy!

“5. No one else in the restaurant is as dependent on your enjoyment.”

I had been discussing with my wife recently about my history with pure commission sales. I never really thought I could make it as a salesman. She pointed out that I’m basically making strictly commissions as a server. She’s right. After all, my hourly wage is primarily provided to ensure I don’t have to give my employers money for taxes and other benefits out of my tips. So nearly my entire income comes directly from the people who sit in my section and let me entertain them.

When people go to a restaurant where they will be served, they generally expect to enjoy the meal more than if they’d opted to fend for themselves. If they are with friends or family, they want to share the experience. If they are alone, they didn’t want to be, entirely. No matter how many are at the table, each and every guest is hoping for an enjoyable meal. The responsibility for that hope is placed primarily on the shoulders of the server. It is my job to fulfill that hope for each and every guest. Should any member of the staff dash their hopes through failure, the brunt of their disappointment falls on me. Even the most understanding of individuals will still see me as the source of the failure. If a guest fails to enjoy their visit, I take the hit.

What exactly, then, am I getting paid for? My knowledge, my experience, my attitude, my talent, and my commitment to service seem to be the most obvious reasons. No matter how frequently a guest visits, no matter how well they know the menu, they still need me to know it better. A guest wants me to be able to handle hot plates, and cold drinks, deftly, and quickly. They want a positive demeanor, and an empathy strong enough to know when humor, or humility is required. Their server should be able to look poised and polished, whether it’s Monday afternoon, or Saturday night. Above all, I should be treating them like they are my only guests, even if everyone involved is mature enough to realize that’s not the case.

Each time I greet a guest, I’m taking responsibility for their enjoyment. I’m selling the idea that they are going to have a good time, and my success is dependent on how well I can deliver on that promise. My guests cannot dock the pay of the cook who provides a medium steak when they wanted medium rare. They cannot charge their meal to the unruly guests at the table next to them. The dishwashers won’t lose hours because of a dirty dish that makes it to the table. More than any other position in the restaurant, the server needs the highest possible percentage of the guests to be happy, so that their gratitude is shown in their gratuity.

Some servers are fully committed to this truth. Some are not. The ones who aren’t shouldn’t be in this business. If you get the privilege to be served by one who is, you should encourage their efforts. After all, they simply want to you to do what I ask of you at the end of every post, whether it’s your next meal, or the rest of your life. Enjoy!

“4. My role as a server is essential to the guest experience.”

There are many ways to enjoy a meal. You can cook it yourself at home. You can visit a friend and let them cook, or eat a meal cooked for you by a loved one. You can visit any number of different types of restaurants where food is simply provided for you to consume on your own, such as fast food establishments or buffets. You can purchase food in various stages of preparation to consume on your own, such as convenience stores or vending machines.

However, if you want to eat well, and easily, with little effort and great reward, you may make the choice to let someone serve you. That person might be your spouse, cooking up a nice dinner after you’ve had a hard day at work. It might be a grandparent, hosting a holiday meal. Or it might be a stranger who’s chosen to accept the title of “server” as their chosen profession.

A good professional server enhances every aspect of the meal and allows you to focus on your enjoyment. He or she brings knowledge, to guide you through the process of selecting your food. A server handles the labor of placing the food before you, and cleaning up after you. The server communicates to the chefs and cooks any requests you may have to enhance your meal, specific to your preferences, and takes responsibility for your health and well-being when you make him/her aware of your allergies, or other dietary restrictions. In some cases, a server even moves beyond the meal to interact with you on a social level, providing good conversation, and a degree of entertainment, as the circumstances present themselves. Great servers elevate the meal to an experience, and help make it memorable.

Without these services provided by another human being, be it a loved one, friend, or stranger, every meal would be one of life’s many labors, a chore of daily self preservation, like sleeping, or bathing. At best, each meal we would make for ourselves would be enjoyed alone and forgotten.

When a person makes themselves available to serve you, they are giving moments of their lives to help you enjoy some of your own . More often than not, when a meal is enjoyed and remembered, a server of some sort was involved. The next time you choose to be the guest of an establishment and enjoy the attention of a server, try to remember how precious their time is, and how much they care about yours. Enjoy!

“3. My primary source of income is the gratitude of my guests, specifically in the form of monetary compensation, for the time I spend with them.”

Generally, unless one has been a server, one doesn’t fully appreciate the challenges a server faces, monetarily. Our primary income is our tips. How we get paid beyond that varies from state to state. I’ve only ever served in Illinois, so I can only speak to that. My current, hourly wage is less than $5. I almost never earn a paycheck, even when I work 39.99 hours in a week. (Anything above 32.5 is considered full time where I work. Management obsesses over avoiding overtime.) I do average a modestly livable amount each week, but it’s extremely difficult to budget to that average, because of all the factors I can’t control, such as weather, the economy, the seasons, and popular distractions such as sporting events, or religious holidays.

The one thing I can control, to a degree, is how hard I work to earn a guest’s gratitude. I say, “to a degree”, because of all the factors that govern the level of gratitude a guest can or will show in exchange. I know I can’t control spite, disappointment, inattentiveness, forgetfulness, or any other factor that originates outside my circle of influence. Some guests may not care about me. They may hold me responsible for something or someone who let them down during the course of their visit. They may not be paying attention to the bill, or their level of inebriation. They may have forgotten some resource or responsibility that limits their available funds. The factors are so many, that I often mentally assign any number of innocent possibilities to a poor tip to assuage the sting.

The main takeaway of this truth is a simple one. Servers depend on you. No one else is giving them the resources to clothe, shelter, and feed themselves or their loved ones. You rely on them for a lively experience. They rely on you for their livelihood. Make sure the exchange is a fair one; their time for your money. Enjoy!

3 reasons why we should never ban tipping | The Exchange – Yahoo Finance.

This article provides some fine points about the value of gratuity-based dining. I do like to take a moderate approach to my positions, so it’s important to consider all sides in this matter. Enjoy!

“2. Serving is a noble profession with centuries-old roots in cultures from around the world.”

To some, waiting on tables is what people do while waiting to do something else. It’s the go-to job for college students, aspiring actors/actresses, housewives looking for extra cash, and semi-retirees or seasonal workers. In this country, the general opinion of waitstaffs across the board is that they don’t really care about what they do and they are often ashamed of it.

This is disappointing. The nobility of service goes back thousands of years. Waiters/Waitresses, (or the more gender-generic Servers), can trace their roots back through the household staffs of Edwardian gentry, castles and courts of kings and emperors in Europe and Asia, even going back to ancient Egypt. In Sunday School, I learned a lot about the importance of service in general. One of my favorite quotes is in Luke 22:25-27, where Jesus emphasizes his own passion for serving.

“Foreign kings order their people around, and powerful rulers call themselves everyone’s friends. But don’t be like them. The most important one of you should be like the least important, and your leader should be like a servant. Who do people think is the greatest, a person who is served or one who serves? Isn’t it the one who is served? But I have been with you as a servant.”

One of the more recent influences on my growing respect for those who serve came from a Master Sommelier I met through work. Ron Edwards has become known as one of the most “approachable wine ambassadors” as an established member of the exclusive Court of Master Sommeliers, making him one of 214 experts worldwide who have achieved the prestigious Master Sommelier credential. There are numerous accolades and accomplishments in his bio, but my favorite part is found at the bottom.

“Master Edwards is also a passionate proponent of others centered, risk oriented service. He is regularly engaged by restaurants and hotels to inspire frontline employees and managers. His enthusiasm regarding the nobility of service, and how to live it, is infectious. Ron makes a positive difference in the service culture of each business that he touches.”

I learned about this from attending his presentations as part of Cooper’s Hawk’s advanced wine training. His words further cemented my belief in the importance of the role of service in my life and the lives of others.

At the restaurant level, the server is the pivot point, the lynch pin, key to a successful experience. A guest will be directly or indirectly impacted by every employee working, but their greatest interaction will occur with the server. The server bears the most responsibility for the guest’s comfort, well-being, and satisfaction. Made incredibly more complicated by the diversity of guests that come through the door each day, a successful server has to genuinely care about his/her guests. Regardless of their resources, their dietary needs, or their appreciation and level of respect for his/her role, a server is there to serve, to put the focus on the guest during the entirety of their time together.

Everyday, I wear a ring with the Superman symbol on it. It was given to me by my best friend many years ago. People often ask me about it and I give many answers as to why. The one I give most commonly is, “It reminds me to always be the hero.” To me, that’s what serving is. A heroic feat to be accomplished every day in every part of my life, whether I’m on the clock or not. I am a server and that is a noble thing to be. Enjoy!

In writing my sixteen truths, my lengthy monolog on serving and being served, I realized that I had a great deal more to say about each truth, but at that time, I wanted to keep it concise.

The feedback was generally positive, so I thought I would expand on each truth a bit further in a series of follow up posts, as time permits. So here is my further thoughts on my first truth.

“1. I love serving people.”

I was speaking about a range of wine-related topics to a couple on Saturday night for several minutes. Experience has taught me to be better aware of my time and surroundings, and I realized I needed to visit my other tables to maintain a proper balance. One of the guests remarked that she understood I had other things to do. I replied, “Are you kidding? This is my favorite part of the job. I wish I could do this all day.” 

It’s true. What I truly love most about serving people is sharing with them. Interacting on topics of common interest in a dynamic manner is a tireless endeavor on my part. I love to share what I’ve learned with others, whether it’s knowledge or experience.

For example, when guests ask me for recommendations, I thrill at the opportunity to not only provide the answers they seek, but to provide the idea that they should expand their questions. Too often, people look for binary answers: yes or no, on or off, black or white, what’s good or bad. Yet the world is so much more complex than that. By going beyond simple answers, I get them to truly think about the experience they want to have, and I’m able to serve them in a more rewarding fashion. The end result isn’t just about a great meal for them, and hopefully better gratuity for me. It’s in teaching them to look beyond what they are eating to why they are eating it.

This notion of raising the bar for every guest is a part of my bigger passion for raising the bar for every person I encounter. It’s not always as easy to do with people I’ve known for years, yet many of them, if given time to truly reflect on our history, would see my passion for serving and supporting others. I have spent a great many years being the best “right-hand man” I could, to some of the most talented people I’ve had the pleasure to call, “friend”.

Much like a guest who will not or cannot tip well, regardless of my effort, I have not always seen the results I’d hoped. I have not always been the best servant I could, and some of my efforts have fallen short. I still remain committed to the ideal that serving is the noblest profession, no matter the capacity to which one serves, and I still remain committed to the passion that I have for serving. No matter what the future holds, I hope I never lose that passion, and I hope I never stop serving, one way or the other. Enjoy!

I recently came across a post in my Facebook feed for an article called, “16 New Rules For Tipping At Restaurants”. It made a great many perfectly accurate and reasonable statements about the challenges of working for tips.

I won’t share it here for two reasons. I feel the author immediately loses credibility by using profanity to make her points. More importantly, she (presumably) humorously suggests stabbing a guest in the parking lot who stiffs a server intentionally because said guest is “cheap”.

I will however take inspiration from said article to  make my own sixteen points. Don’t think of them as rules, but truths as I see them.

1. I love serving people. The interaction with my guests is the highlight of each workday. The chance to have not only a great meal but a great experience is something I’ve expressed in the past as one of my joys in life, and I do so love to share.

2. Serving is a noble profession with centuries-old roots in cultures from around the world. Being a server connects me to the courts of kings and the banquet halls of caesars and emperors. Not every server feels the same way. Not every server serves at the same level. I recognize this. You should as well. Before taking anything else into account, one should respect the server, and respect the profession.

3. My primary source of income is the gratitude of my guests, specifically in the form of monetary compensation, for the time I spend with them. My hourly wage is less than minimum. It’s main purpose is to pay my taxes and benefits.

4. My role as a server is essential to the guest experience. Remove me from the equation and every restaurant is a cafeteria. A server is your host, guide, butler/maid, entertainer, confidant, banker, and more.

5. No one else in the restaurant is as dependent on your enjoyment. If any other employee fails, the server represents that failure. Yet no one else in the restaurant bears the sins against the guest as the server does.

6. The alternative to gratuity is restaurants who pay those who serve a livable wage. To do this, restaurants must pass this cost on to the patrons to remain in business. We already have this business model in place. The most successful include McDonald’s and Subway. As a result, their “servers” provide no where near the volume of service one can enjoy at other establishments such as The Cheesecake Factory or TGIFriday’s, to name a few.

7. Coupons, rewards, gift certificates, sales, and other discounts, do not impact my service. I will have worked as hard as the original total suggests, regardless of what the restaurant ends up asking you to pay. If I gave you 100% of my effort, you should tip according to 100% of the pre-tax, pre-discount amount of the bill.

8. I am your server. I am not your cook, your dishwasher, your seater/greeter/host, your parking attendant, or any other employee of the company who can impact your experience. Tip me for my service and take your other issues to the manager. Judge me on my own merits this visit; judge the restaurant overall when deciding if you should return.

9. If you ever visit an establishment where servers rely on gratuity, and you knowingly don’t intend to tip for any reason, you are a thief. If you don’t know if the servers rely on tip, ask a host or manager. If you do not ask, you are a coward. Either way, thieves and cowards don’t deserve great service. Yet I give it anyways.

10. I love food. I don’t love all food. I have my reasons. I will give honest feedback about everything on the menu, and I will have favorites. I won’t be disappointed if you disagree with me, because we don’t have the same taste buds. I will be thrilled if you agree with me, because I’ve made an effort to enhance your meal that succeeded. Not all servers will be as honest as me. If you can’t tell the difference between an honest server and a dishonest one, don’t ask for an opinion about the food.

11. Every day I work is a “quality versus quantity” contest. The highest quality/quantity guest stays a little while and orders a lot. The lowest quality/quantity guest stays a long time and orders very little. I will serve either guest equally well. Yet the latter guest has the most negative impact on my income, and the level to which I can provide for myself and/or my family. If you aren’t that hungry and just want a place to hang out, pay the “occupancy” tax with a more generous tip. Be grateful no one is asking you to vacate the prime real estate you are occupying.

12. A great guest experience is extremely important to me. It is also extremely important to my current place of employment. If you are frequently visiting restaurants who don’t provide that experience across the board, you have to take responsibility for your own happiness.

13. Poor tipping or non tipping will have zero impact on improving your experience. Your gratuity is not an effective means of communication. Use your words. Tell me, your server, what’s wrong, verbally. Bad tipping isn’t a statement, it’s a series of questions.

“What did I do wrong?”
“Did they forget?”
“Are they just bad at math?”
“Are they blaming me for (insert any reason outside my control here)?”

And so on. If you don’t explain the lack of tip, you don’t answer the questions. If the questions are not answered, you won’t make an impact.

14. I have no problem splitting the check for my guests. Please, don’t make me regret it. Every server lives with a lingering fear that someone will drop the ball on the gratuity now that the bill is broken into pieces. It happens enough times to justify that fear.

15. Bad tipping won’t ruin my day, because I don’t have bad days. Bad days are always offset by good days. That’s why I still love serving, and I still approach every new day with hope. In this numbers game, I win more than I lose because I keep playing as best as I can. I also approach every new table with hope. Some patrons fear I will stereotype them. I’ve seen cheap businessmen and generous housewives, cheap servers from other restaurants and generous families with small children. I never assume a stereotype based on race, gender, age, or other factors. It’s sad when the stereotypes play out. It’s delightful when they don’t.

16. In the end, my little monologue (unless it goes viral) will have little impact on the world around me. I have only a handful of subscribers, and my Facebook followers will mostly be people who are usually like-minded, so they aren’t generally part of the problem. While I would love to bring about real change in the service and hospitality industries, what I really needed most from this post was the opportunity to get this off my chest and maybe bring a little humor to anyone who reads this.

There you have it, a snapshot of my state of mind about serving and gratuity, taken in early 2014. As I am fond of saying when I deliver food to my guests, and as I have signed every post since I started… Enjoy!