3 reasons why we should never ban tipping | The Exchange – Yahoo Finance.

This article provides some fine points about the value of gratuity-based dining. I do like to take a moderate approach to my positions, so it’s important to consider all sides in this matter. Enjoy!

“2. Serving is a noble profession with centuries-old roots in cultures from around the world.”

To some, waiting on tables is what people do while waiting to do something else. It’s the go-to job for college students, aspiring actors/actresses, housewives looking for extra cash, and semi-retirees or seasonal workers. In this country, the general opinion of waitstaffs across the board is that they don’t really care about what they do and they are often ashamed of it.

This is disappointing. The nobility of service goes back thousands of years. Waiters/Waitresses, (or the more gender-generic Servers), can trace their roots back through the household staffs of Edwardian gentry, castles and courts of kings and emperors in Europe and Asia, even going back to ancient Egypt. In Sunday School, I learned a lot about the importance of service in general. One of my favorite quotes is in Luke 22:25-27, where Jesus emphasizes his own passion for serving.

“Foreign kings order their people around, and powerful rulers call themselves everyone’s friends. But don’t be like them. The most important one of you should be like the least important, and your leader should be like a servant. Who do people think is the greatest, a person who is served or one who serves? Isn’t it the one who is served? But I have been with you as a servant.”

One of the more recent influences on my growing respect for those who serve came from a Master Sommelier I met through work. Ron Edwards has become known as one of the most “approachable wine ambassadors” as an established member of the exclusive Court of Master Sommeliers, making him one of 214 experts worldwide who have achieved the prestigious Master Sommelier credential. There are numerous accolades and accomplishments in his bio, but my favorite part is found at the bottom.

“Master Edwards is also a passionate proponent of others centered, risk oriented service. He is regularly engaged by restaurants and hotels to inspire frontline employees and managers. His enthusiasm regarding the nobility of service, and how to live it, is infectious. Ron makes a positive difference in the service culture of each business that he touches.”

I learned about this from attending his presentations as part of Cooper’s Hawk’s advanced wine training. His words further cemented my belief in the importance of the role of service in my life and the lives of others.

At the restaurant level, the server is the pivot point, the lynch pin, key to a successful experience. A guest will be directly or indirectly impacted by every employee working, but their greatest interaction will occur with the server. The server bears the most responsibility for the guest’s comfort, well-being, and satisfaction. Made incredibly more complicated by the diversity of guests that come through the door each day, a successful server has to genuinely care about his/her guests. Regardless of their resources, their dietary needs, or their appreciation and level of respect for his/her role, a server is there to serve, to put the focus on the guest during the entirety of their time together.

Everyday, I wear a ring with the Superman symbol on it. It was given to me by my best friend many years ago. People often ask me about it and I give many answers as to why. The one I give most commonly is, “It reminds me to always be the hero.” To me, that’s what serving is. A heroic feat to be accomplished every day in every part of my life, whether I’m on the clock or not. I am a server and that is a noble thing to be. Enjoy!

In writing my sixteen truths, my lengthy monolog on serving and being served, I realized that I had a great deal more to say about each truth, but at that time, I wanted to keep it concise.

The feedback was generally positive, so I thought I would expand on each truth a bit further in a series of follow up posts, as time permits. So here is my further thoughts on my first truth.

“1. I love serving people.”

I was speaking about a range of wine-related topics to a couple on Saturday night for several minutes. Experience has taught me to be better aware of my time and surroundings, and I realized I needed to visit my other tables to maintain a proper balance. One of the guests remarked that she understood I had other things to do. I replied, “Are you kidding? This is my favorite part of the job. I wish I could do this all day.” 

It’s true. What I truly love most about serving people is sharing with them. Interacting on topics of common interest in a dynamic manner is a tireless endeavor on my part. I love to share what I’ve learned with others, whether it’s knowledge or experience.

For example, when guests ask me for recommendations, I thrill at the opportunity to not only provide the answers they seek, but to provide the idea that they should expand their questions. Too often, people look for binary answers: yes or no, on or off, black or white, what’s good or bad. Yet the world is so much more complex than that. By going beyond simple answers, I get them to truly think about the experience they want to have, and I’m able to serve them in a more rewarding fashion. The end result isn’t just about a great meal for them, and hopefully better gratuity for me. It’s in teaching them to look beyond what they are eating to why they are eating it.

This notion of raising the bar for every guest is a part of my bigger passion for raising the bar for every person I encounter. It’s not always as easy to do with people I’ve known for years, yet many of them, if given time to truly reflect on our history, would see my passion for serving and supporting others. I have spent a great many years being the best “right-hand man” I could, to some of the most talented people I’ve had the pleasure to call, “friend”.

Much like a guest who will not or cannot tip well, regardless of my effort, I have not always seen the results I’d hoped. I have not always been the best servant I could, and some of my efforts have fallen short. I still remain committed to the ideal that serving is the noblest profession, no matter the capacity to which one serves, and I still remain committed to the passion that I have for serving. No matter what the future holds, I hope I never lose that passion, and I hope I never stop serving, one way or the other. Enjoy!

I recently came across a post in my Facebook feed for an article called, “16 New Rules For Tipping At Restaurants”. It made a great many perfectly accurate and reasonable statements about the challenges of working for tips.

I won’t share it here for two reasons. I feel the author immediately loses credibility by using profanity to make her points. More importantly, she (presumably) humorously suggests stabbing a guest in the parking lot who stiffs a server intentionally because said guest is “cheap”.

I will however take inspiration from said article to  make my own sixteen points. Don’t think of them as rules, but truths as I see them.

1. I love serving people. The interaction with my guests is the highlight of each workday. The chance to have not only a great meal but a great experience is something I’ve expressed in the past as one of my joys in life, and I do so love to share.

2. Serving is a noble profession with centuries-old roots in cultures from around the world. Being a server connects me to the courts of kings and the banquet halls of caesars and emperors. Not every server feels the same way. Not every server serves at the same level. I recognize this. You should as well. Before taking anything else into account, one should respect the server, and respect the profession.

3. My primary source of income is the gratitude of my guests, specifically in the form of monetary compensation, for the time I spend with them. My hourly wage is less than minimum. It’s main purpose is to pay my taxes and benefits.

4. My role as a server is essential to the guest experience. Remove me from the equation and every restaurant is a cafeteria. A server is your host, guide, butler/maid, entertainer, confidant, banker, and more.

5. No one else in the restaurant is as dependent on your enjoyment. If any other employee fails, the server represents that failure. Yet no one else in the restaurant bears the sins against the guest as the server does.

6. The alternative to gratuity is restaurants who pay those who serve a livable wage. To do this, restaurants must pass this cost on to the patrons to remain in business. We already have this business model in place. The most successful include McDonald’s and Subway. As a result, their “servers” provide no where near the volume of service one can enjoy at other establishments such as The Cheesecake Factory or TGIFriday’s, to name a few.

7. Coupons, rewards, gift certificates, sales, and other discounts, do not impact my service. I will have worked as hard as the original total suggests, regardless of what the restaurant ends up asking you to pay. If I gave you 100% of my effort, you should tip according to 100% of the pre-tax, pre-discount amount of the bill.

8. I am your server. I am not your cook, your dishwasher, your seater/greeter/host, your parking attendant, or any other employee of the company who can impact your experience. Tip me for my service and take your other issues to the manager. Judge me on my own merits this visit; judge the restaurant overall when deciding if you should return.

9. If you ever visit an establishment where servers rely on gratuity, and you knowingly don’t intend to tip for any reason, you are a thief. If you don’t know if the servers rely on tip, ask a host or manager. If you do not ask, you are a coward. Either way, thieves and cowards don’t deserve great service. Yet I give it anyways.

10. I love food. I don’t love all food. I have my reasons. I will give honest feedback about everything on the menu, and I will have favorites. I won’t be disappointed if you disagree with me, because we don’t have the same taste buds. I will be thrilled if you agree with me, because I’ve made an effort to enhance your meal that succeeded. Not all servers will be as honest as me. If you can’t tell the difference between an honest server and a dishonest one, don’t ask for an opinion about the food.

11. Every day I work is a “quality versus quantity” contest. The highest quality/quantity guest stays a little while and orders a lot. The lowest quality/quantity guest stays a long time and orders very little. I will serve either guest equally well. Yet the latter guest has the most negative impact on my income, and the level to which I can provide for myself and/or my family. If you aren’t that hungry and just want a place to hang out, pay the “occupancy” tax with a more generous tip. Be grateful no one is asking you to vacate the prime real estate you are occupying.

12. A great guest experience is extremely important to me. It is also extremely important to my current place of employment. If you are frequently visiting restaurants who don’t provide that experience across the board, you have to take responsibility for your own happiness.

13. Poor tipping or non tipping will have zero impact on improving your experience. Your gratuity is not an effective means of communication. Use your words. Tell me, your server, what’s wrong, verbally. Bad tipping isn’t a statement, it’s a series of questions.

“What did I do wrong?”
“Did they forget?”
“Are they just bad at math?”
“Are they blaming me for (insert any reason outside my control here)?”

And so on. If you don’t explain the lack of tip, you don’t answer the questions. If the questions are not answered, you won’t make an impact.

14. I have no problem splitting the check for my guests. Please, don’t make me regret it. Every server lives with a lingering fear that someone will drop the ball on the gratuity now that the bill is broken into pieces. It happens enough times to justify that fear.

15. Bad tipping won’t ruin my day, because I don’t have bad days. Bad days are always offset by good days. That’s why I still love serving, and I still approach every new day with hope. In this numbers game, I win more than I lose because I keep playing as best as I can. I also approach every new table with hope. Some patrons fear I will stereotype them. I’ve seen cheap businessmen and generous housewives, cheap servers from other restaurants and generous families with small children. I never assume a stereotype based on race, gender, age, or other factors. It’s sad when the stereotypes play out. It’s delightful when they don’t.

16. In the end, my little monologue (unless it goes viral) will have little impact on the world around me. I have only a handful of subscribers, and my Facebook followers will mostly be people who are usually like-minded, so they aren’t generally part of the problem. While I would love to bring about real change in the service and hospitality industries, what I really needed most from this post was the opportunity to get this off my chest and maybe bring a little humor to anyone who reads this.

There you have it, a snapshot of my state of mind about serving and gratuity, taken in early 2014. As I am fond of saying when I deliver food to my guests, and as I have signed every post since I started… Enjoy!

I am determined to not raise a picky eater.

I hear the horror stories all the time. I have seen these kids in the restaurants I’ve worked at over the years. The ones who eat the plainest things or fuss about food on their plates. The teenagers are the worst, with their plain hamburgers and boring pizzas.

I don’t want my son, or any other kids I may have after him, being afraid to try new things, or frustrating other adults because he’s so hard to feed. I want an adventurous eater, who knows what he likes, but braves any new thing with the hopes of adding to that list.

Of course, he’s allowed to not like things. He’s also allowed to like things a certain way. Tastes and taste buds change over time, and i will want him to know he’s allowed to change his mind. What I don’t want him to do is decide before he’s tried. I also don’t want him to never try again. I don’t like brussel sprouts. I went twenty years without eating them. Yet my wife asked me to try again and I did. The verdict is I’m still not a big fan. (I feel they are bitter little baby cabbages plucked before their time.) Yet I was open to the possibility that my tastes had changed.

So I have a plan. I’m tentatively calling it the “3612 Plan”. If the boy doesn’t, for example, like tomatoes the first time he tries them, we’ll come back to them in 3 months, then 6 months, then 1 year, then 2 years. After that, he’s allowed to never try them again. My hope is not to force him to like tomatoes, but to create the habit of being open to revisiting things throughout his life, and to trying new things whenever the opportunity arises. In the end, I want to impart the same adventurous food spirit I have, so he can live an adventurous life, both at the table, and beyond. Enjoy!

I’ve come to believe that there is a huge missed opportunity in the artificial sweetener industry. For the average person already drinking diet soda, they are accustomed to the flavor. However, any efforts to acquire new drinkers is partially sabotaged by the fact that diet sodas are trying to taste sugar-sweetened. For the average non-diet soda drinker, they are used to high fructose corn syrup. By using high fructose corn syrup, the soft drink companies are essentially stuck in a Catch-22.

A non-diet drinker is always going to think diet tastes like diet. Mainly because diet never tastes like regular. No matter what they do in crafting new artificial sweeteners, diet will never taste like regular. And regular drinkers will never switch to diet for the flavor. So unless someone is going to craft an artificial sweetener that tastes like high fructose corn syrup, regular soda drinkers will never switch for the taste.